Us vs. The World

Happy hump day! (Wednesday). I hope everyone is well and enjoying this beautiful fall weather. I have of course decorated my entire apartment…maybe over decorated. I won’t apologize for it!

Today I want to talk to you guys about a topic of “Us vs. The World”. What a strange title, I know. It derived from this idea of how we as artists, more so people, have started to allow ourselves to be out of alignment with our world.

What do I mean by that you ask? I’ll give you an example! Have you ever had a moment where something frustrating happened to you? Let’s say a friend says something to you, you don't take a moment to analyze or think “Is this right?”. Instead, you allow your emotions to take the wheel and drive you in the wrong direction. Here’s the interesting part, if you had taken a moment, to ask yourself ‘What’s really going on here?”. You’d be surprised at the answer. Maybe you misunderstood what your friend was saying and you jumped the gun. OR, maybe they misunderstood you. I think we have all experienced something along the lines of this from time to time. I am the queen of reacting before taking a moment to analyze. Let’s go further than that, I am the DICTATOR, THE RULER, of being influenced only by what I see and not by what was inside. I'm working on it. Do you want to know something kind of crazy? The people I used to be really really REALLY annoyed with or frustrated with in my life, were people that were a reflection of what needed to be dealt with on the inside.

I will happily be the first to admit that in high school and college, I was a monster. When it was audition day in school, I looked at the other women around me as competition. I refused to see their talents and their abilities because I had a belief that it would be betraying myself in a way. It wasn’t until my senior year of college that I had an audition for a show. I really really wanted the part. I prepared, I studied, I worked and worked 2 months beforehand (which was unusual for me back then). Heads up: I didn’t get the part, one of my really good friends did. I saw the list and felt this burning fire in my chest. “ARE YOU KIDDING?!”. I caught myself for a moment….I almost spiraled into ripping myself to shreds, along with her and the show. And then I stopped and saw myself in the truth of what was real. It was one of the first times in my life that I realized that I was parading around claiming I was an artist and wasn’t acting like one. I was acting like a baby who wanted something and believed that if I screamed loud enough and behaved poorly enough, I get what I want. Kids do that you know. They kick and scream and we as the authority sometimes (depending on who it is) give them EXACTLY what they want in order to shut them up. Fun fact: The Universe doesn’t respond that way. Imagine if you will, that we as human beings have this invisible antenna attached to us that sends out a signal to the universe on what to give us. If you’re behaving in a manner thats negative (fear, lack, insecurity, anger, etc.) The universe will respond with that mirror.

For the first time in that tiny moment, I saw that mirror being reflected back at me. Have you noticed that we as artists, females in particular, have been conditioned to believe that there’s “not enough room” for all of us in this field? That we need to cross the line of being overly critical and being plain rude? I suffer from it ALL the time. I’ve found myself countless times joining in on saying something mean or rude about a fellow female artist subconsciously believing it makes ME look good….and it doesn’t. We as women in this field have been conditioned to behave and perceive this way. There’s a difference between healthy competition and being negative.

So much of how we as human beings respond in life, is based off of what we see, our outer world, versus what is within us. Have you ever been so filled with anger or sadness that it painted a really ugly picture of a situation and you believed in that picture? You believed in what you saw versus what was actually real? I know I have. When we allow emotions and those feelings to pass through us, we can then ask ourselves the question “what was that about?” Or “whats really going on?”. Especially because we as women are so much more powerful then we have lead ourselves to believe. We don’t need to play the mean girl card in the audition room or give in to poor behavior. Please keep in mind, I’m also telling myself this as I type because I’m still learning as well. Everything you see on the outside is simply a reflection of you. And you always have the power to change it. Challenge yourself!

Please like, share, and comment if you found this post helpful and stayed tuned for my next post in the next week or so. Thank you all so so much!