PRIDE in my truth

Hi lovely people! It’s been eons since I’ve been on the good ‘ole blog but we all know how busy life can get. I hope everyone is well and having a wonderful June. So, I must say, this post is very very very special to me due to the fact that it’s the most personal a girl can get with her readers. I have to start off by saying that it’s taken me a very very VERY long time to get to this point in my life. For all of us, discovering who we are is never easy, but it’s crucial in order to reach the next phase of life. I’ve always been unashamed of the truth. And I have no shame in saying that this last year has been painful, yet it has been the most beautiful and gratifying experiences to date. Life has continuously kicked me down and cracked me open over and over again. It’s forced me to shed my skin in accepting who I am. There were even moments that I vividly remember sobbing in my car questioning my place on this Earth. When I say life got dark I mean…..dark. I’m speaking about this candidly because no one should be ashamed to talk about what they’ve been through. And to be frank with you, there might be someone out there who needs to read something like this. For months I was battling with myself over and over trying to fight through whatever was going on. I would make progress and then hit a wall every time without fail. I prayed, I meditated on it, blah blah. NOTHING. Then came a random day in late May after an argument with a friend that I realized in that moment that I’d been looking at life all wrong.

The Universe/God/Mother Earth/Someone had been grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me over and over again. At this point, they were slapping me in the face saying “WAKE UP JESS AND CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTION.” I hate to get all hippy dippy here but, I had such a negative perception of myself and didn’t even realize it. I have no idea where it came from but I will say this: Your perception of yourself effects your perception of the world around you. It came to the point where it began to cloud every part of my life including the way I viewed my world around me. (people, places and things). So what did I do you ask? I did something that’s difficult but necessary for all of us to do: I told myself the truth and took responsibility for my life. No, it’s never easy, but it’s a must do. If you want to change your life, tell yourself the truth. All of us at one point or another self sabotage, or are insecure. We’re human. We all make mistakes, and holy crap have I made too many of them to even count at this point. It doesn't always feel like the greatest thing to take a loss or two. Yet its crucial that we all get to a point where we see that we are so powerful and limitless. If we only allow ourselves to be. The foundation that I had built for myself was false. (Thank God). Who wants to build there life based on fear, insecurity and uh…more fear? No one you goofball!

I have now reached the other side of all of this. Though I have kicked and screamed my entire way to the finish line. I’m here y’all. I believe we are all pretty damn awesome in our own way. Life isn’t merciful to anyone, neither is the truth. Yet it is when we get to the point where we look at the truth and say “Alright fine….I’ll hold your hand and walk down the street with you” is when the weight is lifted. I’m now able to look at Jess in the mirror and say “Woah…you’re amazing.” I can proudly stand in my power and say that I’m black, gay (surprise), and a woman. Some would say that’s three strikes against me, I would say three wins. This journey was never meant to be easy, but it’s mine. You should every be ashamed to be who they are. Or let the opinions of other’s stifle who you are or want to be. The celebration starts with YOU. Celebrate who you are every day of your life. You deserve it. Being that this is the month of June celebrating PRIDE Month. To my LGBTQIA Fam: I stand with you, I celebrate and support you, I am one of you. Let’s celebrate!

I hope you enjoyed this post and if not….well..then that’s you’re problem Muahahaha! Stay tuned for more posts in the next week.

Love and light y’all,

Jess.