Identity through Ignorance

Psssssst….Guys…..IM BAAAAACK! Wow has it been an insane past few months. A lot has happened since I have last posted! I am now just three months away from graduating from college (insert horrific screams) Holy Moly! There have been some up’s and a LOT of downs so far for senior year. But I have learned and grown immensely from it all, I had to.

One thing that has struck me this semester are what I call “eyes” Identity and Ignorance (see what I did there?) . It’s never been in my vocabulary until a few months ago to be frank with you. It’s never pertained to me. I always assumed I knew who I was as a person, a typical college student who’s name was Jessica who is getting a major in Musical Theatre. It wasn’t until last semester where I had a few experiences thrown at me where I was forced to dig at the idea of who I am. Last semester I was put in a living situation where I was living with 2 racists students. It wasn’t my first experience with the N-word but it was my first experience with having to face the consequences of the meaning behind the word. I had 2 choices: one, I could brush these altercations off and try and remain civil, or two, which was the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life, which was stand up for myself.

I know many of you are thinking: How hard can it be? I can tell you this is easier said than done. There were a few instances where I didn’t defend myself at all and couldn’t figure out why. I realized it was because I subconsciously felt inferior, I always have. This was something I knew was always in the back of my mind but I continued to push the voice away until it became a faint echo. It takes a lot to come to terms with the fact that sometimes you don’t feel the best about yourself. Especially when it comes to something you cannot change: Ethnicity. I was ashamed and embarrassed and to be very VERY honest with you: I’m shocked I came out of this funk still alive and in one piece. Due to great friends and professors sending me love and light, I found my identity through the ignorance. I will say this in defense to the word “Ignorant”: We are ALL ignorant to something.It’s in our nature as human beings. However, the way you choose to move about the world with that ignorance will tip your moral compass. I do believe there is a clear difference between ignorance and racism. I also believe that there are different types of ignorance. There’s those that are ignorant that are desperately trying to understand and empathize and others who remain complacent who remain silent. And that’s where the breakthrough began.

Due to these experiences, I wrote a short play titled “Ignorant Silence” and submitted it to the Kennedy Center American College Theater Festival, and guess what? IT WON. It was chosen to be staged and performed at the festival and now can be produced anywhere and everywhere. I now have a need, ill repeat…not a want but a NEED to write more content for people of color. Being a young woman of mixed race with so many different stories in her, we all have them. And they need to be shared for all. I can’t tell you how many students came up to me saying this 10 min dinky play helped them. Representation matters y’all. If you would like to read my play Ignorant Silence, click the attachment below "Meet the Author" on my home page!