Competition: Changing our outlook

Competition: An event or contest in which people compete. This is a term that has subconsciously been ingrained in the skin that we live in not only as women, but as performers in a realm of uncertainty that is the business of Theatre.

Picture this: You are going to an audition for a particular show that you are dying to be in (what ever show that may be is up to you). With every fiber of your being you want that role. Unfortunately someone else, who the director thought would be a better fit, got it. Us being women, our first instinct might be to undercut that person that got the role in any way we can. Why? because there is a culture that has developed in the world of what we do. It has evolved to the point where it is surreptitiously programming us to think “Get that role. Whatever it takes”. “Keep your eye on the prize”. And most of the time, we don't even notice that we are thinking that way. It's come to my attention that we as women, tend to put on mental blinders the second we notice that other women might possibly be a threat. We begin to lose the empathetic part of ourselves and it quickly becomes overshadowed by a darker, more vengeful side that many of us don't like to admit that we have. “She took the role I wanted, so I'm going to get her back the only way I know how. Where it hurts her most". Many times when a thought like that creeps in, It's because there is some part of us that can’t deal with the insecurity of not getting what we wanted. And we now want the person who did get it, to feel bad. Sometimes it’s intentional, sometimes it isn’t.

Different forms of aggressive competitiveness have been in our lives in many ways. Whether that’s competing for having the most friends in elementary/middle school, or competing for a boy’s attention in high school, or even competing for jobs in the real world. I'm sure we can all remember a time where either someone responded out of jealousy, with undermining another person’s worth and talent. Or maybe you, yourself were doing the job of undermining someone.

When you undermine a person in any way, you are stifling your own creativity and talents. No one wants to admit that they have behaved this way but I encourage you to admit it. If we don’t start to, then how can we as women in this business move forward in trying to make a change? It really doesn't have to be a competition. Yes, we all want THAT role. We all want to be in THAT show, but we cannot respond with hate and giving in to the green eyed monster. I cant tell you how many times I have seen see a show or been at an audition, and heard another girl say “Ugh well she's not even that good" or “She didn't deserve it”. I’m not at all embarrassed to admit that I myself have done something like this, but again, we all need to own up to it.

There is room for every woman at the top of that mountain of success. However, we together need to change the way that we climb that mountain. In order to have real success in every way shape or form that you desire, you can no longer claw and push other women down on your way up. You need to be extending your hands, lifting other women up along the way. Only then can we ALL climb that mountain of success and everyone can reach the top.

Where and how do we as women begin with fixing this issue? You'd be surprised how small actions we make in our own daily lives can soon create a huge difference! Start reprogramming your thoughts when you walk into that audition room in terms of the way we as women think of competition. Use your words to fuel love into those around you as opposed to using them to gossip and tear others down. Speak up for those who are being bullied or disrespected by others. Find ways to empower each other in a positive light. These are crucial things that we cannot not be quiet about anymore if we want to see change. We are one.

Have you ever undermined someone else as a person? Did you realize you were wrong? What else do you think we as women can do to fix this? Comment your thoughts below on this subject, please and stay tuned for more posts!